1 00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:07,398 ♪ 2 00:00:08,513 --> 00:00:11,382 MEREDITH: No one ever imagined we would make it this far. 3 00:00:11,449 --> 00:00:17,488 ♪ I guess all the mountains that I moved just weren't enough ♪ 4 00:00:17,555 --> 00:00:20,257 ♪ And all those nights I walked you home ♪ 5 00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:21,592 ♪ From crowded bars when you were drunk ♪ 6 00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:24,929 Incision-less surgeries, 4D imaging, 7 00:00:24,996 --> 00:00:28,966 - mechanical organs, stem cell therapy... - [TABLET CHIMES] 8 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:33,804 ♪ And I just wonder what it'd take to make you stay ♪ 9 00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:35,139 ♪ 10 00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:39,043 ♪ 'Cause when you said jump, I said how high ♪ 11 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:41,045 ♪ 12 00:00:41,112 --> 00:00:42,346 ♪ But when I jumped, you said goodbye ♪ 13 00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:45,215 Every medical innovation seemed impossible, 14 00:00:45,283 --> 00:00:47,451 unimaginable until it was achieved. 15 00:00:47,519 --> 00:00:51,989 - [CELLPHONE CHIMES] - ♪ I would've walked through hell ♪ 16 00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:55,125 And luckily, we haven't stopped making advancements. 17 00:00:55,193 --> 00:00:58,262 Your recent COVID test has come back negative, 18 00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:00,731 your ABG's improved, 19 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,300 your RSBI looks promising, 20 00:01:03,368 --> 00:01:05,002 and oxygen requirements have decreased. 21 00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:06,670 If you keep this up, 22 00:01:06,738 --> 00:01:09,206 I may just try weaning you off the vent later today. 23 00:01:09,274 --> 00:01:10,853 - [CELLPHONE CHIMES] - Because the other side 24 00:01:10,877 --> 00:01:13,143 of the unimaginable is death. 25 00:01:13,211 --> 00:01:14,845 And the pain that comes with loss. 26 00:01:14,913 --> 00:01:16,180 MAN: Dr. Altman? 27 00:01:16,247 --> 00:01:18,248 - [GASPS] - ♪ Without you here tonight ♪ 28 00:01:18,316 --> 00:01:19,850 Bailey said you'd need some help 29 00:01:19,918 --> 00:01:22,386 covering the COVID ICU since... 30 00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:25,823 - Since we lost... - Yeah, uh uh, o-okay. 31 00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:28,425 - Thank you. - ♪ Nothing I can do ♪ 32 00:01:28,493 --> 00:01:31,762 ♪ 'Cause you don't wanna try ♪ 33 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,131 And that side never stops coming. 34 00:01:34,199 --> 00:01:36,233 We need some good news, Meredith. 35 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:39,036 Please, just... we really need some good news. 36 00:01:39,104 --> 00:01:40,337 ♪ I would've walked through hell ♪ 37 00:01:40,405 --> 00:01:42,639 ♪ To find another way ♪ 38 00:01:42,707 --> 00:01:46,043 - [MAN LAUGHS] - ♪ I would've laid me down ♪ 39 00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:47,277 It's you again! 40 00:01:47,345 --> 00:01:48,278 ♪ If I knew that you would stay ♪ 41 00:01:48,346 --> 00:01:51,815 ♪ I would've crossed the stars ♪ 42 00:01:51,883 --> 00:01:54,251 ♪ To keep you in my life ♪ 43 00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:57,621 ♪ But now I'm falling hard ♪ 44 00:01:57,689 --> 00:01:59,690 ♪ Without you here tonight ♪ 45 00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:00,958 [WAVES CRASHING, REEL CLICKING] 46 00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:07,392 Synced and corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com. 47 00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:10,934 JACKSON: [YAWNING] You going in today? 48 00:02:11,315 --> 00:02:12,549 Day off. 49 00:02:15,746 --> 00:02:19,448 Hey, if I say something, can you not judge me? 50 00:02:19,516 --> 00:02:21,784 Because we're friends who bang, not friends who judge. 51 00:02:21,852 --> 00:02:23,586 [YAWNING] Mm, I have wrapped my head 52 00:02:23,654 --> 00:02:24,954 around the concept, yeah. 53 00:02:25,022 --> 00:02:29,025 I need joy in my life. 54 00:02:29,092 --> 00:02:30,125 [SIGHING] 55 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:32,261 Val died, 56 00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:34,630 and DeLuca... 57 00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,632 I can't even say it yet. 58 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:39,435 And I physically have no more room left in my body 59 00:02:39,503 --> 00:02:40,536 for sadness. 60 00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:44,740 So I am switching specialties to OB 61 00:02:44,808 --> 00:02:48,611 and all I need from you is encouragement. 62 00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:50,079 You thought I would judge you for that? 63 00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:52,281 I literally spend all day every day at work 64 00:02:52,349 --> 00:02:53,916 wanting to walk out that door 65 00:02:53,984 --> 00:02:56,952 just to go off into the woods by myself hiking for three months 66 00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,387 until there's a vaccine. 67 00:02:58,455 --> 00:03:00,990 There's not gonna be a vaccine in three months. 68 00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:02,391 I'm sorry... You just said no judging. 69 00:03:02,459 --> 00:03:05,194 [LAUGHING] I know, but that's just ridiculous. 70 00:03:05,843 --> 00:03:08,664 Wait, so, you for real about switching specialties? 71 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:10,266 Yes. 72 00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:12,201 - Wow. - Yeah. 73 00:03:12,269 --> 00:03:13,336 [GRUNTS] 74 00:03:13,403 --> 00:03:16,305 [LAMP CLATTERING] 75 00:03:16,373 --> 00:03:17,440 What was that? 76 00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:19,041 In lieu of confetti. 77 00:03:19,109 --> 00:03:22,678 - [WHISTLING] - [SIGHS] 78 00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:26,549 ♪ I walked outside and got kissed with a gentle breeze ♪ 79 00:03:26,616 --> 00:03:29,819 ♪ The sunshine and roses gave me everything I need ♪ 80 00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:31,020 - ♪ I feel alive ♪ - You okay? 81 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:33,522 [EXHALES SHARPLY] No. 82 00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,358 The kids loved Andrew. 83 00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:36,592 He used to play his guitar for them 84 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,227 and teach them songs in Italian. 85 00:03:38,295 --> 00:03:39,995 He brought gelato to every birthday. 86 00:03:40,063 --> 00:03:41,664 And every half-birthday. 87 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:44,133 Which all three of these kids now think is an actual thing. 88 00:03:44,201 --> 00:03:45,267 [CHUCKLES] 89 00:03:45,318 --> 00:03:47,636 I'm just so sorry. 90 00:03:47,704 --> 00:03:48,838 For all of you. 91 00:03:48,905 --> 00:03:50,539 Aunt Maggie! It's your turn! 92 00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:52,848 Okay, Zozo. 93 00:03:53,744 --> 00:03:54,910 I'll be there. [SHUDDERING BREATH] 94 00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:56,379 Know what? 95 00:03:56,446 --> 00:04:00,049 I think this crowd could benefit from some new East Coast moves. 96 00:04:00,117 --> 00:04:02,084 Ndugu moves. What do you say, Zola? 97 00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:03,552 - Gimme a shot? - Yeah! 98 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:04,720 Alright. Make room. 99 00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,555 - ♪ Lucky today ♪ - Unh! 100 00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:09,525 [WHISTLING] 101 00:04:09,593 --> 00:04:10,760 [LAUGHS] 102 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,895 ♪ 103 00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:14,997 - ♪ I'm feeling lucky today ♪ - Hey! Yeah? 104 00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:16,732 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 105 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,567 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 106 00:04:18,635 --> 00:04:21,237 - Ooh, ooh! Come on! - ♪ Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling... ♪ 107 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:25,241 And I just wish I had the chance to thank him for it. 108 00:04:26,543 --> 00:04:27,843 [CELLPHONE BEEPS] 109 00:04:28,181 --> 00:04:29,648 Do you think that was okay? 110 00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:32,718 It's a video tribute for someone whose brother got murdered. 111 00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:34,853 Nothing's "okay." 112 00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:38,050 But funerals no longer exist, so... 113 00:04:38,118 --> 00:04:39,758 Do you want me to record yours? 114 00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:41,660 I'm, um... 115 00:04:42,962 --> 00:04:44,663 Yeah, just, um... 116 00:04:44,731 --> 00:04:45,798 No. 117 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,797 And, uh, later today, 118 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:50,302 - I need you to meet a team... - [KNOCK ON DOOR] 119 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,204 ... from County at the loading dock. 120 00:04:52,272 --> 00:04:53,669 We're giving them PPE. 121 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:54,673 [SIGHS] 122 00:04:54,741 --> 00:04:57,342 They're wearing trash bags over there. 123 00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,747 Mm. 124 00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:01,380 - [RECEIVER CLICKS] - Do we have extra PPE? 125 00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:03,942 We have more than others. Which is extra. 126 00:05:03,966 --> 00:05:05,733 - When was the last time you were home? - [KNOCK ON DOOR] 127 00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:07,268 Hunt! Yeah, Altman. Come in. 128 00:05:07,336 --> 00:05:08,970 Meredith's stable. 129 00:05:09,037 --> 00:05:12,473 I'm actually gonna try to reduce her vent settings today. 130 00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:13,474 I'm hopeful. 131 00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:14,842 Hunt, how are we with beds? 132 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:18,846 The normal COVID floor capacity's at 80%, ICU is okay. 133 00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:22,583 Morale is pretty low with DeLuca... 134 00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:24,085 It's hit everyone pretty hard. 135 00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:27,588 Well, I expect DeLuca's autopsy results 136 00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:29,278 by the end of the day. 137 00:05:30,626 --> 00:05:32,827 You asked for his results? Why? 138 00:05:32,895 --> 00:05:34,562 Andrew DeLuca was one of our own. 139 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,097 Obviously, something went wrong. 140 00:05:36,164 --> 00:05:37,565 I want to know what that was. 141 00:05:37,633 --> 00:05:39,567 ♪ 142 00:05:39,635 --> 00:05:40,735 That's all. 143 00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:45,206 ♪ 144 00:05:45,274 --> 00:05:49,577 Bailey, I already told you every step of what happened. 145 00:05:49,645 --> 00:05:51,276 Well after I could have done 146 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:54,428 - something to change the outcome. - [CELLPHONE RINGING] 147 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,751 Shut the door on your way out. 148 00:05:56,818 --> 00:05:57,818 Yes? 149 00:06:00,222 --> 00:06:01,155 Yeah. 150 00:06:01,223 --> 00:06:02,562 - [DOOR SLAMS] - Alright. 151 00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:09,541 - WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Connor to the ICU. - Thank you for coming with me. 152 00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:11,254 I wouldn't miss it. 153 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,071 I have privileges, right? 154 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,706 My department, my world. 155 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,107 Dr. Gruber to the OR. 156 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,542 - Helm, what do we got? - Dr. Gruber to the OR. 157 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:21,780 Byron Gibbis, 52, found passed out on his front porch. 158 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,149 He's febrile, tachycardic. I also heard a big murmur. 159 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,617 Rapid COVID was negative, 160 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,886 no signs of head trauma, but I did order a pan scan. 161 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,523 Let's add a cardiac CT. 162 00:06:29,637 --> 00:06:31,371 Um, do you work here? 163 00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:32,573 Dr. Winston Ndugu, 164 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,308 cardiothoracic surgeon from Tufts. 165 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,201 He's got Osler's nodes. 166 00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:42,149 Oh, my God. My God. 167 00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,184 Byron, I'm Dr. Maggie Pierce. You're at Grey-Sloan Memorial. 168 00:06:44,252 --> 00:06:45,519 You were found unconscious, and an ambulance... 169 00:06:45,587 --> 00:06:46,820 - Get away from me! - Okay... 170 00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:48,255 No, I'm serious. Everybody back up, okay? 171 00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:49,790 I'm not getting COVID. Where are my clothes? 172 00:06:49,858 --> 00:06:52,459 - Sir, please just... - Everybody here is sick. 173 00:06:52,527 --> 00:06:53,527 Oh, God. [GROANS] 174 00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,696 Okay, Byron, I know that this is a shock 175 00:06:55,764 --> 00:06:56,897 and I know that you're scared, 176 00:06:56,965 --> 00:06:58,365 but if we don't get a look at your heart, 177 00:06:58,433 --> 00:06:59,733 you may not make it home. 178 00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:01,034 We have all been tested. 179 00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:03,270 If you need a mask or if you need a face shield, 180 00:07:03,338 --> 00:07:04,438 we can get you whatever you need. 181 00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:06,840 But, please, just stay. 182 00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:08,509 I was so good. 183 00:07:08,576 --> 00:07:09,743 I didn't go anywhere. 184 00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:11,545 Let's get you ready for CT. 185 00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:12,846 [SIGHS] 186 00:07:12,914 --> 00:07:14,114 ♪ 187 00:07:14,182 --> 00:07:17,851 One minute I'm sad, 'cause I think about his sister 188 00:07:17,919 --> 00:07:21,121 and his family and what a great guy he was. 189 00:07:21,829 --> 00:07:23,690 Next minute, I'm filled with guilt. 190 00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:25,292 Then I'm filled with rage. 191 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,437 That a person could 192 00:07:26,461 --> 00:07:27,561 [SIGHS] 193 00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:30,421 Do that to another human being. 194 00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:34,234 I'm scared. Hopeless. Sometimes numb. 195 00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:35,969 I can always go back to guilt. 196 00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:37,762 Guilt is my go-to. 197 00:07:38,173 --> 00:07:40,265 My go-to is numb. 198 00:07:41,142 --> 00:07:42,943 Wow. 199 00:07:43,011 --> 00:07:45,412 Did you just describe exactly what was wrong 200 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,114 with our relationship in only five words? 201 00:07:47,182 --> 00:07:49,116 [LAUGHS] 202 00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:51,018 I think maybe I just did. 203 00:07:51,085 --> 00:07:52,920 [CHUCKLES] 204 00:07:54,656 --> 00:07:56,690 I just... DeLuca. I... 205 00:07:57,926 --> 00:07:59,560 [SIGHS] 206 00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:02,329 I-I just can't get my head around it. 207 00:08:07,936 --> 00:08:10,370 [CHILDREN LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] 208 00:08:10,438 --> 00:08:11,963 What is this? 209 00:08:13,074 --> 00:08:14,608 Looks like whiskey. 210 00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:16,610 Mm, what was it doing 211 00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:19,079 on the top shelf behind the fancy candlesticks? 212 00:08:19,147 --> 00:08:20,447 What were you doing on the top shelf 213 00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:21,982 behind the fancy candlesticks? 214 00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,016 Are you drunk? 215 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:24,251 It's 9:00 in the morning. 216 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:26,053 Plenty of people get drunk at 9:00 in the morning. 217 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,730 Yeah, well, not me, Amelia. 218 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,924 I live at home with four kids. 219 00:08:30,992 --> 00:08:33,327 - Sometimes late at night... - [TRASH CAN LID BANGS] 220 00:08:33,394 --> 00:08:35,596 ...I have a drink in the garage and I play my guitar. 221 00:08:35,663 --> 00:08:36,763 We're in a pandemic. 222 00:08:36,831 --> 00:08:39,666 You drink in the garage? Do you hear yourself? 223 00:08:39,734 --> 00:08:40,767 Do you hear yourself? 224 00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:43,237 Hiding alcohol is an objectively bad sign. 225 00:08:43,304 --> 00:08:45,539 Or it's a sign that I'm trying to be respectful of you. 226 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,241 If you have a problem, you can talk to me. 227 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,643 I'm, like, literally the best person in the world 228 00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,676 - you could talk to. - Do you know stressed out I am? 229 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,846 All the time? 230 00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:54,882 And now on top of everything, if it wasn't hard enough, 231 00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:57,117 now I have to make sure that I don't accidentally mention 232 00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,886 that their friend Andrew was stabbed to death 233 00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:00,554 by somebody who sells children for sex. 234 00:09:00,622 --> 00:09:02,656 Okay, that is all of us. That is not just you. 235 00:09:02,724 --> 00:09:05,325 And not all of us have to drink to cope. 236 00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:07,094 You don't have to, or you don't get to? 237 00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,730 Because I get to. Because I'm not an alcoholic. 238 00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:11,064 I'm not in recovery and... 239 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,568 Y'know what? 240 00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:16,236 I can't be here right now. 241 00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:18,105 - You're leaving? - Yes. 242 00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:19,973 Because I don't want to say something that I might regret. 243 00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:22,376 Because I love you and because I'm a good guy. 244 00:09:22,443 --> 00:09:24,811 But sometimes, Amelia, you drive me insane. 245 00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:26,146 And... And this is one of those times. 246 00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:27,981 So, yes, I'm leaving. 247 00:09:30,118 --> 00:09:31,752 And I'm taking this with me. 248 00:09:31,819 --> 00:09:34,421 Oh, and, uh, just so we're clear... 249 00:09:36,057 --> 00:09:37,357 I'm coming back. 250 00:09:37,425 --> 00:09:39,359 Because I'm not a bad guy! 251 00:09:39,427 --> 00:09:42,029 ♪ 252 00:09:42,096 --> 00:09:43,764 [DOOR OPENS, SLAMS CLOSED] 253 00:09:44,389 --> 00:09:47,634 No pressure, Grey, but we really need you to pull through this. 254 00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:50,186 This place can't stand another loss. 255 00:09:50,905 --> 00:09:52,643 Are we ready? 256 00:09:52,668 --> 00:09:54,069 I'm gonna lighten her sedation... 257 00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,509 [MACHINE BEEPING] 258 00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:58,145 ...and then gradually turn down all of her settings. 259 00:09:58,212 --> 00:10:00,881 And if she tolerates it, then we'll move forward 260 00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:02,683 with spontaneous breathing trials. 261 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:04,384 Dr. Altman, I'm more than able to handle this 262 00:10:04,452 --> 00:10:05,852 with the respiratory therapist. 263 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,187 Maybe you should get some rest. 264 00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:09,056 I know how closely you worked with Dr. DeLuca. 265 00:10:09,123 --> 00:10:12,059 Which has nothing to do with getting Meredith off the vent. 266 00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,897 [BEEP] 267 00:10:16,965 --> 00:10:20,400 ♪ 268 00:10:20,468 --> 00:10:21,868 Come on, Grey. 269 00:10:24,272 --> 00:10:26,206 Come on, Grey, you can do this. 270 00:10:26,274 --> 00:10:28,175 [WAVES CRASHING] 271 00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:30,010 You look just like Ellis just now, 272 00:10:30,078 --> 00:10:31,478 the way you're looking at your feet. 273 00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:32,679 So serious. 274 00:10:32,747 --> 00:10:34,948 Then she gets that worried little brow. 275 00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,316 [BIRDS CALLING] 276 00:10:36,384 --> 00:10:37,384 ♪ 277 00:10:37,452 --> 00:10:39,353 This is torture! 278 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:41,021 You're right here, and I can't... 279 00:10:41,089 --> 00:10:42,189 It's torture! 280 00:10:42,256 --> 00:10:44,191 It's a torture of your own devising. 281 00:10:44,258 --> 00:10:45,759 - [REEL CLICKING] - You were always good at that. 282 00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,494 Good at what? 283 00:10:47,562 --> 00:10:48,762 Torturing yourself. 284 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:51,164 I don't do that as much anymore. 285 00:10:51,232 --> 00:10:56,570 ♪ 286 00:10:56,637 --> 00:10:58,472 You never got to meet Ellis. [SCOFFS] 287 00:10:58,539 --> 00:10:59,973 We didn't even know. 288 00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:01,908 I wish you got to know her. 289 00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:04,077 She looks just like you. 290 00:11:04,145 --> 00:11:06,313 She breaks the rules just like you. 291 00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:09,649 And she's quick to anger. And quick to laugh. 292 00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:14,955 And she's smart and pensive and stubborn, just like you. 293 00:11:16,624 --> 00:11:19,593 Hates pink and purple, loves brown and green, 294 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,762 and... and gets enraged at the thought 295 00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:23,864 of anybody wanting to cut down a tree. 296 00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:27,012 ♪ 297 00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:28,753 (DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 298 00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:32,895 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 299 00:11:33,908 --> 00:11:35,475 Is... Is this thing clean? 300 00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:37,744 People say you can't get sick from surfaces, but you can. 301 00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,213 We thoroughly disinfect the entire room 302 00:11:40,281 --> 00:11:41,415 in between patients. 303 00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,817 - Sir? - Just... I need a minute, okay? 304 00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,886 Can I leave my face shield on, please? 305 00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:48,722 - Sure. - Oh, God. 306 00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:50,631 If you'd like, I can stay with you. 307 00:11:50,712 --> 00:11:51,714 I can hold your foot or... 308 00:11:51,738 --> 00:11:52,793 No, no, no, no. I don't want anybody touching me. 309 00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:54,194 Nobody touches me, okay? 310 00:11:54,262 --> 00:11:57,531 WINSTON: Osler's nodes, so... endocarditis. 311 00:11:57,598 --> 00:11:59,933 Yes, but what is the underlying cause? 312 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,468 He denies intravenous drug use, 313 00:12:01,536 --> 00:12:04,037 there's no indwelling catheter, no diabetes... 314 00:12:04,105 --> 00:12:06,506 He said he hasn't left his house since lockdown, right? 315 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:07,808 May I? 316 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:10,711 [MACHINERY WHIRRING] 317 00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,279 - Hey, Byron. - Yeah? 318 00:12:12,347 --> 00:12:14,247 Have you had any trouble with your teeth lately? 319 00:12:14,315 --> 00:12:17,184 I had a... a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth, 320 00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:18,518 and I picked it out with a paperclip 321 00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:20,253 and... and now my gums are a little sore, 322 00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:21,722 but I-I'm not going to the dentist. 323 00:12:21,789 --> 00:12:23,523 I'm not gonna lay there with my mouth open for 20 minutes 324 00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:24,825 inhaling somebody's spit droplets. 325 00:12:24,892 --> 00:12:26,626 - No way. - Bingo. 326 00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:30,430 Dental infection, which led to bacterial endocarditis. 327 00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:34,401 Aortic valve abscess almost completely blocking the valves. 328 00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:37,543 Helm, order some antibiotics and book an OR. 329 00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:40,574 I thought of it. 330 00:12:40,641 --> 00:12:41,808 You just said it first. 331 00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,777 Oh, yeah, I believe you. 332 00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:45,445 100%. 333 00:12:48,082 --> 00:12:49,616 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 334 00:12:49,684 --> 00:12:51,890 CATHERINE: Were you looking for me, dear? 335 00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:54,221 Yeah, I was. Yeah. 336 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,294 You know, I built my life, 337 00:13:01,362 --> 00:13:02,929 my sanity, 338 00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:06,033 my sobriety... 339 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,402 around the surrender to a higher power. 340 00:13:09,158 --> 00:13:10,904 I mean, for me, 341 00:13:10,972 --> 00:13:15,108 it's the belief that there's some purpose. 342 00:13:15,176 --> 00:13:20,013 That there's a... a bigger plan. 343 00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:23,717 Something that if I got all the way above it 344 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:25,652 and could look down on it 345 00:13:26,175 --> 00:13:27,788 like, um... 346 00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:30,390 - Like a jigsaw puzzle, okay? - Mm. 347 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:33,393 That somehow it would... It would make sense. 348 00:13:33,461 --> 00:13:35,996 My faith is rooted in the trust 349 00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:40,500 that there's a... a meaning and a wisdom 350 00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:44,938 that I'm just not elevated enough to see or understand. 351 00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:48,475 A faith that whoever made this puzzle, 352 00:13:49,143 --> 00:13:51,110 it makes sense to Him. 353 00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:54,381 - And it's beautiful. - Mm. 354 00:13:56,857 --> 00:13:58,658 Today, I'm... I'm struggling. 355 00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:01,922 I'm struggling with my faith. 356 00:14:01,989 --> 00:14:04,724 I'm struggling to trust anything. 357 00:14:06,594 --> 00:14:12,799 And I just cannot see any wisdom in this. 358 00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:16,336 ♪ 359 00:14:16,404 --> 00:14:20,407 I live with stage 4 cancer. 360 00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:24,177 A cancer very few people survive. 361 00:14:24,245 --> 00:14:26,880 I just got the results from my latest scan, 362 00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:30,016 and... nothing has grown. 363 00:14:30,084 --> 00:14:31,518 [SIGHS] 364 00:14:31,586 --> 00:14:33,286 It makes no sense. 365 00:14:33,354 --> 00:14:34,588 Everywhere we look, 366 00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:38,158 someone is dying that was healthy yesterday. 367 00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:41,461 It makes no sense. 368 00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:45,065 "Puzzle" is the right word. 369 00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:51,671 You can look for the pain, the lost, the unbearable. 370 00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:56,243 Or you can look for the beauty, the grace... 371 00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,512 the miracle. 372 00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:01,562 And nothing grew? 373 00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:05,018 Nothing grew. 374 00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:06,920 [BREATHES SHARPLY] 375 00:15:06,988 --> 00:15:09,222 [CHUCKLES] 376 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:12,592 Okay, so, I know that people buy and trade 377 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,428 and get rich and then just lose everything. 378 00:15:15,496 --> 00:15:18,331 But what exactly is the stock market? 379 00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:20,500 It's a good thing you already know how to live out of a car. 380 00:15:20,568 --> 00:15:22,302 - Why? - Well, questions like that 381 00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:23,803 make me think you're gonna end up back in one. 382 00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:25,405 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 383 00:15:25,473 --> 00:15:27,574 - [KNOCK ON DOOR] - [GASPS] 384 00:15:27,642 --> 00:15:30,744 Uh... who is it? 385 00:15:30,811 --> 00:15:32,612 LINK: It's Jackson Avery! 386 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,614 I'm here for a quick bang. 387 00:15:34,682 --> 00:15:35,985 - I... - Jo! 388 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:37,222 I... 389 00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,090 Shut up. 390 00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,059 Bad time? 391 00:15:46,127 --> 00:15:48,261 [DOOR SLIDES SHUT] 392 00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:50,597 Oh, crap. 393 00:15:50,665 --> 00:15:52,532 - Hey. - Really bad time. 394 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,601 Um, I brought whiskey. 395 00:15:54,669 --> 00:15:57,103 Oh, we're day drinking. Ah! 396 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:59,172 [CLEARS THROAT] Sorry, dude. I didn't realize, uh... 397 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,874 - No, no, it's cool. - [ICE CUBES CLINKING] 398 00:16:00,942 --> 00:16:03,410 Guess you're aware of our... situation, then. 399 00:16:03,477 --> 00:16:05,312 Yep. Sweet deal. 400 00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:07,247 [BOTTLE CAP RATTLING] 401 00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,548 Here. 402 00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:09,983 Oh, no, I'm on, uh, call. 403 00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:11,885 Oh! Dibs. 404 00:16:11,953 --> 00:16:13,853 Okay. Cheers. 405 00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:15,594 Happy... 406 00:16:16,557 --> 00:16:18,180 all-our-friends-are-dying day. 407 00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:20,393 [GLASSES CLINK] 408 00:16:24,966 --> 00:16:28,468 I told him we'd move as fast as was safely possible. 409 00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:31,638 His echo showed his ejection fraction at 64%, 410 00:16:31,706 --> 00:16:34,641 so hopefully his heart is strong enough to have a good outcome. 411 00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:36,810 Who cleans his teeth with a paperclip? 412 00:16:36,877 --> 00:16:39,279 Isolation makes people do crazy things. 413 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,514 We're not meant to be alone. 414 00:16:41,912 --> 00:16:43,950 People physically need people. 415 00:16:44,018 --> 00:16:47,020 [FAUCET RUNNING] 416 00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,455 [FAUCET SHUTS OFF] 417 00:16:48,522 --> 00:16:50,991 Oh, no, no! Don't... Don't... Don't touch me! 418 00:16:51,058 --> 00:16:53,393 Just back away! Please, everybody, back away. 419 00:16:53,461 --> 00:16:55,762 - NURSE LINDA: Dr. Pierce! - I'm sorry. I can't be here! 420 00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:57,124 I can't do this. I can't! 421 00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,365 - Get away from me! - Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce. 422 00:16:58,432 --> 00:17:00,467 - Dr. Pierce! A little help? - I can't be here! I can't be here! 423 00:17:00,534 --> 00:17:02,102 - Oh, God. - I can't! I can't be here. 424 00:17:02,169 --> 00:17:04,271 I can't. I need to get out of here! 425 00:17:09,103 --> 00:17:11,371 Okay, call security. I'm gonna go to the elevator. 426 00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:12,639 - You go to the OR board. - I don't know where that is. 427 00:17:12,706 --> 00:17:14,370 - It's... - Did anyone lose a naked man? 428 00:17:14,452 --> 00:17:15,696 Because he went that way. 429 00:17:15,721 --> 00:17:16,687 Oh. 430 00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:21,347 ♪ 431 00:17:22,570 --> 00:17:23,837 WINSTON: Byron? 432 00:17:23,905 --> 00:17:27,007 [BREATHING QUICKLY] 433 00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:32,879 ♪ 434 00:17:32,947 --> 00:17:34,681 Hey, Byron. 435 00:17:35,214 --> 00:17:37,084 I'm... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 436 00:17:37,151 --> 00:17:39,186 I can't do this. I can't be here. 437 00:17:39,254 --> 00:17:40,887 I... 438 00:17:40,955 --> 00:17:43,557 Oh, my God, my masks. I'm not wearing my masks. 439 00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,759 Honey, you're not wearing anything. 440 00:17:50,798 --> 00:17:54,701 My best friend, Rory, he was healthy as a horse. 441 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,536 Never worked a day job his entire life, 442 00:17:56,604 --> 00:17:57,811 he didn't smoke, he didn't drink, 443 00:17:57,886 --> 00:17:59,373 he... he ran triathlons. 444 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,908 He got the virus, he was dead in a week. A week! 445 00:18:01,976 --> 00:18:03,844 Wife and kids didn't get to say goodbye to him. 446 00:18:03,911 --> 00:18:05,312 Do you know how many people 447 00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:06,847 they're projecting die from this? 448 00:18:06,914 --> 00:18:09,416 - Hundreds of thousands. - I know. 449 00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:11,746 And if you want to walk out of here, 450 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,387 I'm not gonna stop you. 451 00:18:13,454 --> 00:18:14,955 Wait, what? 452 00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:16,590 But I will follow you. 453 00:18:16,658 --> 00:18:18,558 Because your heart's only gonna get worse, 454 00:18:18,626 --> 00:18:20,279 and I owe it to you, 455 00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:22,415 I owe it to my oath, 456 00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:23,582 I owe it... 457 00:18:26,868 --> 00:18:29,017 I lost someone, too, Byron. 458 00:18:29,570 --> 00:18:31,353 Not COVID. 459 00:18:32,874 --> 00:18:34,274 But I know that pain, 460 00:18:34,342 --> 00:18:39,346 and I know how unfair it is and how enraging it is. 461 00:18:39,414 --> 00:18:41,248 But I think... 462 00:18:43,484 --> 00:18:46,086 I think we owe it to the people we lost 463 00:18:46,154 --> 00:18:47,888 to live the lives that they can't. 464 00:18:47,955 --> 00:18:51,992 Even when it seems hard, and even when we're afraid. 465 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:55,429 Byron, you have a problem that we can fix. 466 00:18:55,496 --> 00:18:56,697 We can fix this. 467 00:18:56,764 --> 00:18:58,265 But you have to let us. 468 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,133 [CRYING] I don't want to die. 469 00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:01,268 I don't want to die. 470 00:19:01,336 --> 00:19:03,570 I don't want you to die, either. 471 00:19:03,638 --> 00:19:09,676 ♪ 472 00:19:09,744 --> 00:19:15,716 ♪ 473 00:19:15,783 --> 00:19:16,750 Okay. 474 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:18,852 Okay. 475 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,621 Let's get you a gown first. 476 00:19:21,689 --> 00:19:24,758 She didn't even know that she was pregnant. 477 00:19:24,826 --> 00:19:26,193 And then we saved her baby. 478 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,961 And then... 479 00:19:28,029 --> 00:19:29,296 she died. 480 00:19:29,364 --> 00:19:31,231 It's like, during a pandemic, 481 00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:34,434 shouldn't all the other tragic crap take a break? 482 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:35,869 You're seriously gonna quit surgery? 483 00:19:35,937 --> 00:19:37,304 I need some good things in my life. 484 00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:38,538 And babies are good. 485 00:19:38,606 --> 00:19:40,674 You realize OB is all about moms, yeah? 486 00:19:40,742 --> 00:19:43,477 Yeah, who are happy because they're having babies. 487 00:19:43,544 --> 00:19:45,779 Not having my own any time soon... 488 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:46,847 Fingers crossed. 489 00:19:46,914 --> 00:19:48,615 ...or maybe ever, 490 00:19:48,683 --> 00:19:50,350 so I might as well hang out with some others. 491 00:19:50,418 --> 00:19:51,918 - I got like 15 of them at home. - [CHUCKLES] 492 00:19:51,986 --> 00:19:52,953 Hang out with those. 493 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,287 It's so unfair! 494 00:19:54,355 --> 00:19:56,957 You and Amelia didn't even want a baby, 495 00:19:57,024 --> 00:19:59,092 and then you got one and neither of you died. 496 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,261 Oh, poor you. 497 00:20:01,329 --> 00:20:04,498 You're young and single and dating a plastic surgeon. 498 00:20:04,565 --> 00:20:05,732 - No, we're not... not dating. - It's just sex. 499 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,801 - And you can still work. - Oh. 500 00:20:07,869 --> 00:20:10,303 Last time my life sucked this bad, 501 00:20:10,371 --> 00:20:12,706 I quit medicine and moved to Venice Beach. 502 00:20:12,774 --> 00:20:14,307 Ah, yes. The bike shop, right? 503 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,542 - Heaven. - [LAUGHTER] 504 00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:17,544 Jackson wants to run away to the woods. 505 00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:18,645 Oh, nice. Can I come? 506 00:20:18,713 --> 00:20:19,980 No, that would defeat the purpose. 507 00:20:20,047 --> 00:20:21,848 What is the purpose? 508 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,884 - You kidding? Escape. Outta here. - Mm. 509 00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:26,286 Escape from pain and rage and responsibility. 510 00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:27,854 Escape from humanity. 511 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,389 I mean, trees don't murder people. 512 00:20:29,457 --> 00:20:30,891 - Trees are not racist. - Mm-hmm. 513 00:20:30,958 --> 00:20:32,793 Trees do not politicize a disease 514 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:33,927 and convince millions of people 515 00:20:33,995 --> 00:20:35,362 not to protect themselves and others 516 00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:37,597 by using a simple piece of damn fabric on their faces, so... 517 00:20:37,665 --> 00:20:39,533 Trees don't even have faces. 518 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,700 You know what? Maybe you can come. 519 00:20:40,768 --> 00:20:42,669 [LAUGHTER] 520 00:20:42,737 --> 00:20:43,970 Ohh! 521 00:20:44,038 --> 00:20:45,472 [GLASS SLAMS] 522 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:46,840 ♪ Oh ♪ 523 00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:51,678 Uh, primary repair of the stomach... 524 00:20:51,746 --> 00:20:53,513 - [DOOR CLOSES] - ...diaphragm, splenectomy, 525 00:20:53,581 --> 00:20:55,782 and repair of ventricular injury... 526 00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:57,541 All intact. 527 00:20:58,252 --> 00:21:01,021 Ultimately died from coagulopathy. 528 00:21:01,088 --> 00:21:03,390 - Like I told you. - Well, now we have it in writing. 529 00:21:03,458 --> 00:21:05,625 Which will make the MandM go smoothly. 530 00:21:05,693 --> 00:21:07,227 The MandM? 531 00:21:07,295 --> 00:21:09,262 Bailey, what in the hell are you trying to prove? 532 00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:11,231 It's Andrew DeLuca. 533 00:21:11,299 --> 00:21:13,533 He gave five years of his life to this hospital. 534 00:21:13,601 --> 00:21:15,268 We own him due diligence. 535 00:21:15,336 --> 00:21:18,004 What about what you owe to your doctors that are still here? 536 00:21:18,072 --> 00:21:20,474 The ones who've sacrificed their lives to fight a pandemic, 537 00:21:20,541 --> 00:21:23,743 who hardly sleep or eat or even shower, 538 00:21:23,811 --> 00:21:25,779 who see their families on screens... 539 00:21:25,847 --> 00:21:28,849 Their faces are full of bruises because of the damn PPE, 540 00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:31,251 and now you want them to sit in front of a computer 541 00:21:31,319 --> 00:21:33,186 and be grilled on whether they messed up 542 00:21:33,254 --> 00:21:35,021 trying to save one of their own? 543 00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:37,023 Let them grieve, for God's sake! 544 00:21:37,091 --> 00:21:38,525 [SHOUTS] 545 00:21:44,732 --> 00:21:46,798 You are causing me harm. 546 00:21:47,635 --> 00:21:51,595 You are causing harm to Hunt and Altman. 547 00:21:52,373 --> 00:21:55,942 DeLuca was a victim of a horrible crime, 548 00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:57,878 and he lost too much blood. 549 00:21:58,393 --> 00:22:01,915 No mistakes were made, no stitch was missed. 550 00:22:01,983 --> 00:22:03,750 And the mere suggestion that any of us 551 00:22:03,818 --> 00:22:07,153 didn't do everything possible to save his life... 552 00:22:09,657 --> 00:22:11,992 ...it's a pain I wouldn't put on anyone. 553 00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:16,263 ♪ 554 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:20,066 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 555 00:22:20,134 --> 00:22:22,936 [WAVES CRASHING] 556 00:22:24,972 --> 00:22:27,107 I want you closer. 557 00:22:27,174 --> 00:22:29,643 Could you please just come here? 558 00:22:31,379 --> 00:22:33,947 Do you remember when you were trying to teach Zola 559 00:22:34,015 --> 00:22:35,649 how to ride a bike? 560 00:22:35,716 --> 00:22:37,684 She got so frustrated because she couldn't, 561 00:22:37,752 --> 00:22:40,453 and she threw it down, and she goes, "Mama, you do it." 562 00:22:40,521 --> 00:22:43,523 And you couldn't stop laughing, and she got so mad. 563 00:22:43,591 --> 00:22:45,458 Well, I was trying not to laugh. 564 00:22:45,526 --> 00:22:47,359 So am I. 565 00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:50,654 I can't do it for you. 566 00:22:51,399 --> 00:22:52,739 It's your beach. 567 00:22:53,968 --> 00:22:55,835 Zola's amazing, isn't she? 568 00:22:55,903 --> 00:22:59,105 I mean, she's just so brilliant. 569 00:22:59,173 --> 00:23:00,674 She writes me letters in her journal. 570 00:23:00,741 --> 00:23:01,942 Did you know that? 571 00:23:02,009 --> 00:23:06,012 ♪ 572 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,381 [LAUGHS] 573 00:23:08,449 --> 00:23:10,517 Well, what is that? What is that face? 574 00:23:10,585 --> 00:23:12,786 Would you start a surgery with a face like that? 575 00:23:12,853 --> 00:23:13,853 No! 576 00:23:13,921 --> 00:23:14,975 No. 577 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:16,389 You would relax. 578 00:23:16,457 --> 00:23:20,594 ♪ 579 00:23:20,661 --> 00:23:22,796 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 580 00:23:22,863 --> 00:23:29,336 ♪ 581 00:23:29,403 --> 00:23:35,809 ♪ 582 00:23:35,876 --> 00:23:38,378 [LAUGHS] 583 00:23:39,847 --> 00:23:41,114 It hasn't been that long. 584 00:23:41,182 --> 00:23:43,550 Maybe we could decrease sedation a bit further, 585 00:23:43,618 --> 00:23:44,951 at least run another ABG. 586 00:23:45,019 --> 00:23:46,486 And hope she doesn't go into cardiac arrest 587 00:23:46,554 --> 00:23:48,461 while we wait for the results? 588 00:23:48,823 --> 00:23:50,557 I'm turning the settings back up. 589 00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,592 [MACHINE BEEPING] 590 00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:54,227 Grey's staying on the vent. 591 00:23:54,295 --> 00:23:59,499 ♪ 592 00:24:04,653 --> 00:24:06,286 [CHILDREN LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] 593 00:24:06,993 --> 00:24:08,579 How's the book report coming? 594 00:24:09,896 --> 00:24:12,464 That was one of my favorites. 595 00:24:12,532 --> 00:24:14,032 That's what grownups say to convince you 596 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:15,367 to finish your homework. 597 00:24:15,434 --> 00:24:17,322 You got me there. 598 00:24:17,995 --> 00:24:20,831 I'm supposed to write a whole page about living forever. 599 00:24:20,905 --> 00:24:23,874 Mom says it's impossible. So what's the point? 600 00:24:23,935 --> 00:24:27,070 Your mom is pretty smart. 601 00:24:27,138 --> 00:24:29,005 [SIGHS] 602 00:24:29,073 --> 00:24:32,155 If I made a medicine where you could live forever, 603 00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:33,343 would you take it? 604 00:24:33,411 --> 00:24:34,918 I don't know. 605 00:24:34,984 --> 00:24:36,279 Uncle Link said, "Heck yeah." 606 00:24:36,347 --> 00:24:38,815 [CHUCKLES] That sounds like him. 607 00:24:38,883 --> 00:24:40,784 Me, I don't know. 608 00:24:40,852 --> 00:24:44,815 I think the fact that we can't live forever 609 00:24:45,533 --> 00:24:48,759 is one of the things that makes life so special. 610 00:24:49,078 --> 00:24:50,412 Impermanence. 611 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,180 I think if we could live forever, 612 00:24:52,248 --> 00:24:54,816 we'd spend so much time losing the people that we love 613 00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:57,019 instead of holding tight while we still can. 614 00:24:57,086 --> 00:24:58,954 Impermanence. 615 00:24:59,022 --> 00:25:00,489 I like that word. 616 00:25:00,556 --> 00:25:01,897 Me too. 617 00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:05,794 If I had the medicine, I'd give it to my mom right now. 618 00:25:05,862 --> 00:25:07,529 Me too. 619 00:25:09,499 --> 00:25:11,266 Hey, you want to call her? 620 00:25:11,334 --> 00:25:12,794 Alright. 621 00:25:13,669 --> 00:25:15,737 [TABLET RINGING] 622 00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:17,372 [MONITOR BEEPING] 623 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,940 ♪ 624 00:25:19,008 --> 00:25:20,042 [TABLET CHIMES] 625 00:25:20,109 --> 00:25:21,109 Hello there. 626 00:25:21,177 --> 00:25:22,277 Can we have a minute? 627 00:25:22,345 --> 00:25:23,346 Of course. 628 00:25:25,081 --> 00:25:28,683 Hi, Mommy. I miss you so much. 629 00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:30,185 I love you. 630 00:25:30,253 --> 00:25:34,256 Um, I've been writing a page about living forever. 631 00:25:35,391 --> 00:25:37,059 How are you doing? 632 00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:38,560 It didn't work? 633 00:25:38,628 --> 00:25:40,729 Altman wants to try again in a day or so. 634 00:25:42,732 --> 00:25:46,100 [SIGHS] 635 00:25:46,203 --> 00:25:48,104 When I lost my wife, um... 636 00:25:50,573 --> 00:25:51,907 ...the therapist, she said that 637 00:25:51,974 --> 00:25:55,744 there's no wrong way to process the loss, 638 00:25:55,812 --> 00:25:57,379 the grief. 639 00:25:59,048 --> 00:26:01,049 But there is. 640 00:26:02,385 --> 00:26:04,486 Over a bloody computer screen, it's... 641 00:26:06,456 --> 00:26:08,223 ...it's wrong. 642 00:26:08,291 --> 00:26:09,891 WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Lyon, call the blood bank. 643 00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:12,461 Dr. Lyon, call the blood bank. 644 00:26:12,528 --> 00:26:13,628 [CLEARS THROAT] 645 00:26:15,064 --> 00:26:16,331 - Ohh! - Oh! 646 00:26:16,399 --> 00:26:19,935 You know the rules. Who deserves it? 647 00:26:20,002 --> 00:26:21,870 - Deserves what? Rules to what? - "Make it Sadder." 648 00:26:21,938 --> 00:26:23,538 We tell our sob stories, 649 00:26:23,606 --> 00:26:27,542 and whosever story is saddest wins the last shot. 650 00:26:27,610 --> 00:26:29,177 "Make it Sadder"? That's fun? 651 00:26:29,245 --> 00:26:30,278 - [LAUGHS] - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 652 00:26:30,346 --> 00:26:31,980 Okay. Alright. I'll be the judge. 653 00:26:32,048 --> 00:26:33,108 - I'll be the judge. Alright, go. - Okay. 654 00:26:33,154 --> 00:26:34,516 Alright. [CLEARS THROAT] 655 00:26:34,584 --> 00:26:37,786 I am currently raising four children 656 00:26:37,854 --> 00:26:40,155 in a hellscape of a world 657 00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,057 where people don't listen to science. 658 00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:44,926 My parents are going ahead with their second wedding 659 00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:46,361 even though there's a pandemic, 660 00:26:46,429 --> 00:26:48,063 so they'll probably get sick and die. 661 00:26:48,131 --> 00:26:51,500 And, uh, my last shred of me-time... 662 00:26:51,567 --> 00:26:52,801 Sneaking an occasional drink, 663 00:26:52,869 --> 00:26:54,369 which was already pretty pathetic, 664 00:26:54,437 --> 00:26:57,839 I know... is now ruined. 665 00:26:57,907 --> 00:27:00,142 - Strong. - Mm, alright. 666 00:27:00,209 --> 00:27:05,747 I had plans the weekend that everything shut down. 667 00:27:05,815 --> 00:27:08,250 I had crawled out of my depression, 668 00:27:08,317 --> 00:27:12,254 and I was all set to start over by... 669 00:27:12,321 --> 00:27:14,769 - going... - [LAUGHING] 670 00:27:14,809 --> 00:27:17,826 ...going on dates. 671 00:27:17,894 --> 00:27:19,027 - Oh, yeah. - Aww! 672 00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:20,762 Okay, yes, yes. 673 00:27:20,830 --> 00:27:23,383 You guys, I even bought outfits, okay? 674 00:27:23,408 --> 00:27:26,750 - Alright. - Hang on. Okay. Ah! Okay. 675 00:27:26,903 --> 00:27:28,703 Let me show you. 676 00:27:28,771 --> 00:27:31,840 What do we have? Oh, this is cute, right? 677 00:27:31,908 --> 00:27:35,744 The perfect thing to declare someone dead in. 678 00:27:35,811 --> 00:27:36,945 Oh, what about this? 679 00:27:37,013 --> 00:27:38,914 This, for the, um, career girl 680 00:27:38,981 --> 00:27:41,349 that just spent, um, seven hours 681 00:27:41,417 --> 00:27:44,019 making more room for bodies on the morgue truck. 682 00:27:44,086 --> 00:27:46,321 Or... [LAUGHING] Or... 683 00:27:46,389 --> 00:27:47,956 How about this? 684 00:27:48,024 --> 00:27:51,927 This, for... for the funeral of a co-worker 685 00:27:51,994 --> 00:27:54,247 who got stabbed to death... 686 00:27:54,964 --> 00:27:59,085 who doesn't even get a funeral. 687 00:28:03,773 --> 00:28:06,074 Okay, Jo wins the last shot. 688 00:28:08,277 --> 00:28:10,078 No, no! 689 00:28:10,146 --> 00:28:11,179 - Yes. - No way. Unh-unh. 690 00:28:11,247 --> 00:28:12,314 - Unh-unh. - Thank you so much. 691 00:28:12,381 --> 00:28:16,251 She has an entire loft all to herself! 692 00:28:16,319 --> 00:28:17,185 - Mnh-mnh. - [SCOFFS, LAUGHS] 693 00:28:17,253 --> 00:28:18,587 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING, CHIMING] 694 00:28:18,654 --> 00:28:19,621 - Hold on. - Ahh! 695 00:28:19,689 --> 00:28:20,689 [CELLPHONE CHIMING] 696 00:28:20,756 --> 00:28:22,057 What's that? 697 00:28:22,124 --> 00:28:23,158 It's Richard. 698 00:28:23,226 --> 00:28:25,026 The memorial for DeLuca is tonight. 699 00:28:25,094 --> 00:28:26,094 [SIGHS] 700 00:28:27,697 --> 00:28:29,331 Alright, I'll drive. 701 00:28:29,398 --> 00:28:32,118 Let's, um, get ready. 702 00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:34,569 WOMAN ON P.A.: Orderly to 6 East. 703 00:28:34,637 --> 00:28:37,439 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 704 00:28:37,506 --> 00:28:45,880 ♪ 705 00:28:45,948 --> 00:28:54,356 ♪ 706 00:28:54,423 --> 00:28:56,591 Hey. Uh, just moved Mr. Cabrera up here. 707 00:28:56,659 --> 00:28:57,959 Another complete white-out. 708 00:28:58,027 --> 00:28:58,893 How's Meredith? 709 00:28:58,961 --> 00:29:00,521 Um, uh... 710 00:29:01,097 --> 00:29:02,530 It... It didn't work. 711 00:29:02,598 --> 00:29:04,966 And I'm questioning why I even thought it would. 712 00:29:05,034 --> 00:29:08,136 Well, DeLuca's autopsy results came back. 713 00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:09,771 We did everything that we could. 714 00:29:09,839 --> 00:29:11,406 I know that. 715 00:29:13,142 --> 00:29:14,744 And he's still dead. 716 00:29:14,769 --> 00:29:22,376 ♪ 717 00:29:23,119 --> 00:29:24,653 [MONITOR BEEPING SOFTLY] 718 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,921 ♪ 719 00:29:26,989 --> 00:29:29,758 HAYES: Your kids call every day on a video chat. 720 00:29:29,825 --> 00:29:31,493 Don't know if you can hear them. 721 00:29:33,596 --> 00:29:35,230 [ECHOING] Don't even know if you can hear me now. 722 00:29:35,298 --> 00:29:38,800 ♪ There's a million things ♪ 723 00:29:38,868 --> 00:29:40,402 You look perfect. 724 00:29:40,469 --> 00:29:44,606 ♪ I can't control ♪ 725 00:29:44,674 --> 00:29:46,207 HAYES: [ECHOING] Maybe... Maybe 726 00:29:46,275 --> 00:29:48,310 it's none of my business, Grey, 727 00:29:48,377 --> 00:29:50,145 but I'm begging you. 728 00:29:50,212 --> 00:29:51,413 Fight. 729 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,282 ♪ There is one thing that I know ♪ 730 00:29:54,350 --> 00:29:55,910 That's up to you. 731 00:29:56,365 --> 00:29:57,999 But if you're asking me, 732 00:29:58,220 --> 00:29:59,220 you should hear him out. 733 00:29:59,288 --> 00:30:00,989 [ECHOING] They need you, Grey. 734 00:30:01,057 --> 00:30:02,524 The little one... 735 00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:04,793 - MEREDITH: Ellis. - She looks just like you. 736 00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:07,095 She's got all your expressions. 737 00:30:07,163 --> 00:30:08,463 She doesn't smile easy or often, 738 00:30:08,531 --> 00:30:11,733 but when she does, sweet Jesus, it lights up the room. 739 00:30:11,801 --> 00:30:13,702 What did you do to make her smile? 740 00:30:13,769 --> 00:30:14,736 You shoulda seen it... 741 00:30:14,804 --> 00:30:16,371 She smiles and she smiles, 742 00:30:16,439 --> 00:30:18,773 and it gets bigger and bigger until... [SNAPS FINGERS] 743 00:30:18,841 --> 00:30:21,076 Boom! She just bursts out laughing. 744 00:30:21,143 --> 00:30:23,478 What did you do to make her laugh? 745 00:30:23,546 --> 00:30:25,680 Then her brother gets annoyed because she's laughing so hard 746 00:30:25,748 --> 00:30:26,781 right in his ear. 747 00:30:26,849 --> 00:30:27,816 That's Bailey. 748 00:30:27,883 --> 00:30:29,084 And then the oldest one comes in, 749 00:30:29,151 --> 00:30:31,886 and she takes the tablet and says they're hogging it 750 00:30:31,954 --> 00:30:33,221 and that she needs time with you, too, 751 00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:36,991 because she's the oldest and she's your favorite. 752 00:30:37,059 --> 00:30:38,860 Zola. 753 00:30:38,928 --> 00:30:42,263 Then I hear a click and a lock, but we're in darkness. 754 00:30:42,331 --> 00:30:45,100 Can't tell who has it, 'cause I can't see a face. 755 00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:48,770 But then I hear a voice, and it's the oldest one. 756 00:30:48,838 --> 00:30:51,239 And she's sittin' in the dark. 757 00:30:51,307 --> 00:30:53,041 She's in her closet. 758 00:30:53,109 --> 00:30:55,677 That's where she goes to write letters to her dad. 759 00:30:55,745 --> 00:30:58,813 And she says, "I'm really sorry, Mum. 760 00:30:58,881 --> 00:31:00,749 Didn't mean for things to get so violent. 761 00:31:00,816 --> 00:31:03,785 Ellis can be truly infuriating." 762 00:31:03,853 --> 00:31:05,820 [CHUCKLES] 763 00:31:05,888 --> 00:31:08,022 They need you, Grey. 764 00:31:08,090 --> 00:31:09,324 I know. 765 00:31:09,392 --> 00:31:10,725 They need you to fight. 766 00:31:10,793 --> 00:31:15,430 ♪ My thoughts don't drift ♪ 767 00:31:15,498 --> 00:31:16,197 ♪ When you're around ♪ 768 00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:18,342 We all need you to fight. 769 00:31:19,001 --> 00:31:21,936 I don't know that I can. 770 00:31:22,004 --> 00:31:25,373 It's... so warm here. 771 00:31:25,441 --> 00:31:27,642 The water is so cool. 772 00:31:27,710 --> 00:31:29,844 I feel so relaxed. 773 00:31:29,912 --> 00:31:31,339 And there's no pain. 774 00:31:31,364 --> 00:31:32,895 I watched my kids lose their mum. 775 00:31:33,008 --> 00:31:34,709 [ECHOING] You don't want that for your kids, Grey. 776 00:31:34,784 --> 00:31:36,951 There are people getting better here every day. 777 00:31:37,019 --> 00:31:39,320 You could be one of those people. 778 00:31:39,388 --> 00:31:41,423 ♪ Nothing is forever ♪ 779 00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:43,658 I believe that you could. 780 00:31:43,726 --> 00:31:45,293 'Cause I've heard the stories about other fights 781 00:31:45,361 --> 00:31:46,694 you've already won, so... 782 00:31:47,997 --> 00:31:50,432 So I'm asking you to fight. 783 00:31:50,499 --> 00:31:51,699 ♪ You're my anchor in the ocean ♪ 784 00:31:51,767 --> 00:31:53,568 [ECHOING] You fight, Grey. 785 00:31:53,636 --> 00:31:54,836 ♪ Tides will change, the sea can't help it ♪ 786 00:31:54,904 --> 00:31:56,504 It's okay. 787 00:31:56,572 --> 00:31:58,506 I'll be right here. 788 00:31:58,574 --> 00:32:00,775 ♪ Nothing is forever ♪ 789 00:32:00,843 --> 00:32:07,248 ♪ When it feels like I'm in constant motion ♪ 790 00:32:07,316 --> 00:32:14,255 ♪ You're my anchor in the ocean ♪ 791 00:32:14,323 --> 00:32:17,358 [MONITOR BEEPING] 792 00:32:17,426 --> 00:32:20,428 ♪ 793 00:32:32,948 --> 00:32:35,659 Dr. Webber set something up for DeLuca. 794 00:32:36,184 --> 00:32:37,411 A memorial. 795 00:32:41,522 --> 00:32:43,690 [SNIFFLES] 796 00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:46,960 I'm not a great Jew. 797 00:32:49,664 --> 00:32:52,799 I cheated at my bar mitzvah. 798 00:32:52,867 --> 00:32:57,070 I was too busy trying to ignore Lenny Rapkin's shins 799 00:32:57,138 --> 00:32:58,939 that I didn't learn Hebrew, 800 00:32:59,007 --> 00:33:01,842 so I just wrote it out phonetically, and read that instead. 801 00:33:01,909 --> 00:33:05,879 I skip half the High Holy Days and repent for it at Yom Kippur. 802 00:33:05,947 --> 00:33:08,066 And if I'm honest, I... 803 00:33:08,549 --> 00:33:10,484 go back and forth about believing in God, 804 00:33:10,551 --> 00:33:12,738 which is actually very Jewish, but... 805 00:33:13,554 --> 00:33:16,289 It's the traditions that I find helpful. 806 00:33:18,026 --> 00:33:21,194 When a loved one dies, we have... 807 00:33:21,262 --> 00:33:24,624 rules about how to grieve and move on. 808 00:33:25,166 --> 00:33:26,566 Protocols. 809 00:33:26,634 --> 00:33:31,471 We force ourselves to sit in the pain. 810 00:33:31,539 --> 00:33:33,050 We cry. 811 00:33:34,242 --> 00:33:35,976 And we laugh. [CHUCKLES] 812 00:33:36,044 --> 00:33:38,096 And we eat a lot. 813 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,058 And it doesn't bring the person back, 814 00:33:42,642 --> 00:33:44,910 but it does start the healing. 815 00:33:49,023 --> 00:33:50,957 Chief, your mom died. 816 00:33:51,025 --> 00:33:55,062 ♪ 817 00:33:55,129 --> 00:33:56,396 My mom makes me crazy, 818 00:33:56,464 --> 00:33:59,166 but I'm gonna fall apart when she dies. 819 00:33:59,233 --> 00:34:02,969 And you have people you can be with. 820 00:34:04,352 --> 00:34:08,922 People who love you and miss you and need to grieve with you. 821 00:34:10,712 --> 00:34:13,146 This pandemic has taken so much. 822 00:34:15,149 --> 00:34:16,750 Don't give it that, too. 823 00:34:18,219 --> 00:34:20,353 ♪ There's a light ♪ 824 00:34:20,421 --> 00:34:23,323 ♪ 825 00:34:23,391 --> 00:34:25,692 ♪ A certain kind of light ♪ 826 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,828 [TARYN SIGHS] 827 00:34:27,895 --> 00:34:33,467 ♪ It's never shone on me ♪ 828 00:34:33,534 --> 00:34:34,901 Hey. 829 00:34:34,969 --> 00:34:36,303 Oh, sorry. 830 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:39,873 Um, I'm about to head back in to check on Mr. Gibbis. 831 00:34:39,941 --> 00:34:41,808 He's sedated and stable. 832 00:34:41,876 --> 00:34:44,204 You gonna go to the memorial? 833 00:34:44,846 --> 00:34:47,207 I thought bad things about him. 834 00:34:48,335 --> 00:34:53,573 When he was sick, I thought, "Great, more surgeries for me." 835 00:34:53,755 --> 00:34:55,722 I had no compassion. 836 00:34:55,790 --> 00:34:57,824 And now he's just... 837 00:34:57,892 --> 00:34:59,392 dead. 838 00:34:59,460 --> 00:35:00,527 And we can't hug. 839 00:35:00,595 --> 00:35:02,796 And as a rule, I hate hugs, but... 840 00:35:02,864 --> 00:35:04,364 ♪ What good does... ♪ 841 00:35:04,432 --> 00:35:07,434 ...I haven't physically touched anyone without gloves 842 00:35:07,502 --> 00:35:08,802 in over two months, 843 00:35:08,870 --> 00:35:12,806 and I-I feel like I'm turning into that patient. 844 00:35:12,874 --> 00:35:14,441 Another week of this and... 845 00:35:14,509 --> 00:35:16,743 I'll be running through the hospital naked. 846 00:35:16,811 --> 00:35:17,878 ♪ You don't know what it's like ♪ 847 00:35:17,945 --> 00:35:20,413 Stand up. 848 00:35:20,481 --> 00:35:21,715 And turn around. 849 00:35:21,783 --> 00:35:23,183 I'm sorry? 850 00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:24,718 Just trust me. 851 00:35:24,786 --> 00:35:27,187 [SIGHS] 852 00:35:27,255 --> 00:35:30,824 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 853 00:35:30,892 --> 00:35:34,461 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 854 00:35:34,529 --> 00:35:37,097 ♪ The way I love you ♪ 855 00:35:37,165 --> 00:35:40,534 ♪ 856 00:35:40,601 --> 00:35:41,935 [SOBS] 857 00:35:42,003 --> 00:35:46,706 ♪ You don't know what it's like ♪ 858 00:35:46,774 --> 00:35:48,475 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 859 00:35:48,543 --> 00:35:50,143 Thank you. 860 00:35:50,211 --> 00:35:54,080 - ♪ Baby, you don't know what it's like ♪ - [SNIFFLES] 861 00:35:54,148 --> 00:35:55,649 ZANDER: Spread out, please. 862 00:35:55,716 --> 00:35:58,451 We may be outside, but we still need to maintain our distance. 863 00:35:58,519 --> 00:36:01,555 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 864 00:36:01,622 --> 00:36:05,392 ♪ The way I love you ♪ 865 00:36:05,459 --> 00:36:06,726 ♪ 866 00:36:06,794 --> 00:36:09,462 [GEARSHIFT CLICKS] 867 00:36:09,530 --> 00:36:11,798 [VEHICLE DOORS OPEN] 868 00:36:11,866 --> 00:36:16,002 ♪ 869 00:36:16,070 --> 00:36:19,072 ♪ The way I love you ♪ 870 00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:20,507 ♪ 871 00:36:20,575 --> 00:36:22,976 [ENGINE STARTS] 872 00:36:23,044 --> 00:36:24,578 ♪ 873 00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:25,779 Richard. 874 00:36:25,847 --> 00:36:26,847 ♪ 875 00:36:26,914 --> 00:36:28,448 I'm... 876 00:36:28,516 --> 00:36:31,318 I need to take some time off. 877 00:36:31,385 --> 00:36:32,786 I'm not sure how long. 878 00:36:32,854 --> 00:36:34,821 But I-I need to go home. 879 00:36:34,889 --> 00:36:36,690 However long you need. 880 00:36:36,757 --> 00:36:39,526 ♪ 881 00:36:39,594 --> 00:36:43,865 Everybody, can I have your attention, please? 882 00:36:44,412 --> 00:36:45,784 Thank you. 883 00:36:46,766 --> 00:36:49,768 I appreciate you all being here tonight. 884 00:36:49,904 --> 00:36:53,340 Grey-Sloan is a family. 885 00:36:53,407 --> 00:36:56,710 And Andrew DeLuca was a member of that family. 886 00:36:56,777 --> 00:36:59,713 And his death, however brave... 887 00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:02,549 Well, it's still heartbreaking. 888 00:37:02,617 --> 00:37:06,930 We can't honor his life like we might have in the past, 889 00:37:07,741 --> 00:37:10,433 but we can still honor him. 890 00:37:12,159 --> 00:37:13,827 Dr. Perez? 891 00:37:13,895 --> 00:37:19,699 ♪ There is a man, he runs right to me ♪ 892 00:37:19,767 --> 00:37:24,871 ♪ He wraps his loving arms around me ♪ 893 00:37:24,939 --> 00:37:29,643 ♪ He knows ♪ 894 00:37:29,710 --> 00:37:32,212 ♪ He knows my pain ♪ 895 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,015 ♪ Oh, he knows my pain ♪ 896 00:37:35,082 --> 00:37:37,784 ♪ Oh, he gives me life ♪ 897 00:37:37,852 --> 00:37:41,888 ♪ And I don't know if that is for me ♪ 898 00:37:41,956 --> 00:37:47,127 ♪ It's darker than I thought, in all its broken glory ♪ 899 00:37:47,194 --> 00:37:49,162 ♪ My soul ♪ 900 00:37:49,230 --> 00:37:51,464 ♪ 901 00:37:51,532 --> 00:37:54,401 ♪ Just wants to go home ♪ 902 00:37:54,468 --> 00:37:57,304 ♪ He's calling me home ♪ 903 00:37:57,371 --> 00:37:59,239 ♪ 904 00:37:59,307 --> 00:38:02,242 [FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY, HUMMING] 905 00:38:02,310 --> 00:38:11,651 ♪ 906 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:21,027 ♪ 907 00:38:21,095 --> 00:38:23,897 ♪ And there was a light ♪ 908 00:38:23,965 --> 00:38:26,433 ♪ Oh, there was a fire ♪ 909 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:28,868 ♪ She came through in the night ♪ 910 00:38:28,936 --> 00:38:32,138 ♪ She entered like an angel ♪ 911 00:38:32,206 --> 00:38:34,274 ♪ Hold on ♪ 912 00:38:34,342 --> 00:38:37,410 ♪ 913 00:38:37,478 --> 00:38:39,479 ♪ Hold on ♪ 914 00:38:39,547 --> 00:38:43,283 ♪ She's just memories ♪ 915 00:38:43,351 --> 00:38:47,988 ♪ 916 00:38:48,055 --> 00:38:50,657 - [CRYING] - DELUCA: Hello. 917 00:38:50,725 --> 00:38:53,360 Uh, my name is Andrew DeLuca, and I'm thrilled to be 918 00:38:53,427 --> 00:38:55,328 applying to the surgical residency program 919 00:38:55,396 --> 00:38:58,031 at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. 920 00:38:58,099 --> 00:38:59,466 A bit about me. 921 00:38:59,533 --> 00:39:01,935 I am Italian, but I grew up in Wisconsin. 922 00:39:02,003 --> 00:39:03,670 A lot of doctors in my family, 923 00:39:03,738 --> 00:39:05,405 including my big sister, Carina. 924 00:39:05,473 --> 00:39:07,941 Um, I grew up stealing her game of Operation, 925 00:39:08,009 --> 00:39:10,176 so I guess you can say it's, uh, been a dream of mine 926 00:39:10,244 --> 00:39:12,345 for a very long time. [CHUCKLES] 927 00:39:12,413 --> 00:39:15,015 The idea of doing my training at Grey-Sloan 928 00:39:15,082 --> 00:39:17,250 and... and learning from surgical legends 929 00:39:17,318 --> 00:39:19,519 like Richard Webber and Miranda Bailey 930 00:39:19,587 --> 00:39:22,989 and Jackson Avery and Meredith Grey... 931 00:39:23,057 --> 00:39:26,059 uh, well, it just doesn't get any better than that. 932 00:39:26,127 --> 00:39:28,361 I think the reason I want to become a surgeon 933 00:39:28,429 --> 00:39:30,330 is that [SIGHS] I've always had 934 00:39:30,398 --> 00:39:32,766 this insatiable desire to help people. 935 00:39:32,833 --> 00:39:36,836 And I think I get that from my mom, who I lost too soon. 936 00:39:36,904 --> 00:39:38,605 And, uh, she had this really giving heart, 937 00:39:38,672 --> 00:39:41,374 and she always pushed me to do as much good as poss, 938 00:39:41,442 --> 00:39:44,811 so I guess I'm doing this for her. 939 00:39:44,879 --> 00:39:46,646 Now, you should be warned, 940 00:39:46,714 --> 00:39:49,716 I can be relentless at times, and very stubborn. 941 00:39:49,784 --> 00:39:54,187 But I promise that, if I match with you... 942 00:39:54,255 --> 00:39:56,689 [SPEAKING ITALIAN] 943 00:39:56,757 --> 00:39:59,626 I will give you the very best of me. 944 00:39:59,693 --> 00:40:01,761 Thank you. 945 00:40:01,786 --> 00:40:03,720 Alright. 946 00:40:03,745 --> 00:40:12,720 ♪ 947 00:40:12,873 --> 00:40:15,075 MEREDITH: At all costs, 948 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,402 we avoid negative experiences. 949 00:40:17,511 --> 00:40:23,783 ♪ 950 00:40:23,851 --> 00:40:30,123 ♪ 951 00:40:30,148 --> 00:40:31,982 We ignore pain. 952 00:40:32,093 --> 00:40:37,997 ♪ 953 00:40:38,022 --> 00:40:40,891 We steer clear of the unfamiliar. 954 00:40:40,916 --> 00:40:42,684 We lie when asked about how we feel. 955 00:40:42,709 --> 00:40:44,409 [BOTH LAUGHING] 956 00:40:44,605 --> 00:40:46,873 ♪ Steady as a rock ♪ 957 00:40:46,941 --> 00:40:49,209 ♪ I stand, I wait ♪ 958 00:40:49,276 --> 00:40:51,244 We shouldn't do that. 959 00:40:53,147 --> 00:40:54,314 [SIGHS] 960 00:40:54,381 --> 00:40:57,150 I stopped by the hospital for, um... 961 00:40:57,218 --> 00:40:58,785 I watched. 962 00:40:58,853 --> 00:41:01,387 ♪ But eyes that can't erase ♪ 963 00:41:01,455 --> 00:41:02,922 [SIGHS] 964 00:41:02,947 --> 00:41:04,414 I won't keep booze in the house anymore. 965 00:41:04,525 --> 00:41:06,392 That's not what I need from you. 966 00:41:06,460 --> 00:41:08,761 ♪ Hands that hold ♪ 967 00:41:08,786 --> 00:41:12,155 What I need from you is no more secrets. 968 00:41:12,266 --> 00:41:16,636 It's just... We have this baby together. 969 00:41:16,704 --> 00:41:19,672 We have this whole life together, so... 970 00:41:19,740 --> 00:41:22,342 I want to really know you. 971 00:41:23,644 --> 00:41:24,577 Deal. 972 00:41:26,380 --> 00:41:29,215 I reek of whiskey right now, or I would hug you. 973 00:41:29,283 --> 00:41:31,217 I will hold my breath. 974 00:41:31,285 --> 00:41:38,725 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 975 00:41:38,792 --> 00:41:42,195 ♪ So, send me into space ♪ 976 00:41:42,263 --> 00:41:44,297 ♪ And cut me free ♪ 977 00:41:44,365 --> 00:41:46,699 Because I've learned something from these last several months. 978 00:41:46,767 --> 00:41:47,834 Teddy? 979 00:41:47,902 --> 00:41:50,170 ♪ 980 00:41:50,237 --> 00:41:51,638 ♪ And like a satellite ♪ 981 00:41:51,705 --> 00:41:53,573 Hey. 982 00:41:53,641 --> 00:41:56,576 ♪ Just look for me ♪ 983 00:41:56,644 --> 00:41:57,911 Teddy. 984 00:42:00,714 --> 00:42:02,549 I'm gonna take you home, okay? 985 00:42:02,616 --> 00:42:04,083 ♪ 986 00:42:04,151 --> 00:42:05,585 Okay. 987 00:42:05,653 --> 00:42:13,960 ♪ 988 00:42:14,028 --> 00:42:16,296 The body can only take so much. 989 00:42:16,363 --> 00:42:20,667 ♪ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net